The PAIN TRAIN is coming!

A good number of us who wear the nation's uniform have had the opportunity to chuckle at a video on the web for the past few years, Captain Wedley: Battalion Disciplinator. It's a hoot, in a schadenfreude kind of way. It's human nature to delight in the misfortune of others, though I don't know of any of us, myself included, who enjoyed being the on the receiving end of the various 'CPT Wedleys' we encountered in our military training.

The five minute feature is meant as a spoof, but most of us vets can nod in acknowledgement of the brutal reality it lampoons. Fact is, after all, the basis of all good fiction. The first time I saw it, it was so uncanny that Captain Wedley was nearly a dead ringer for my section supervisor in the 323rd Training Squadron at the Basic Military Training School at Lackland AFB. The setting is actually on an Army installation, perhaps Ft. Carson, and it depicts Captain Wedley proudly wearing his gray USAF Physical Conditioning sweatshirt over his BDU's while attached to an Army intelligence battalion. Throughout the five minutes, the organization's Executive Officer, Major Johnson, if I remember correctly, narrates how much improvement he's seen since he brought Captain Wedley into the fold. The results are fantastic! One is lead to wonder, however, if the XO is really aware just how those improvements were being achieved. No one wants to get caught sluffing off or underperforming when Captain Wedley is watching! About halfway through the clip, a sit-down interview with the disciplinator is conducted. From across the table, he proudly states that it's all about mind games. At this point, a pair of soldiers are shown conversing outdoors amongst wisps of smoke when one of them flicks his cigarette butt. This was not lost on the nearby Wedley, who started his act at the door of a nearby building. Jumping up and down, pumping his arms, he exclaims, 'Oh, yeah, baby -The PAIN TRAIN is coming...YEAHHHH!". That butt wasn't on the ground very long, but the soldier who smoked it was on his knees to retrieve it and put it in the ash receptacle right away! The captain, still at the door, promptly thanked the soldier and continues into the building.

The Pain Train, huh? Most people avoid pain...I know I sure try to! Which is what makes it such an effective persuader. The use of torture techniques has been in the news for the last forty eight hours, which begs the question:

What IS torture...really?

It is, of course, intentional infliction of pain to punish or persuade someone to do something. But like most everything, there's probably a bit more to it than that.

About fifteen years ago when 'sexual harassment' became talk of the day, great effort was expended to ensure everyone knew that harassment was whatever the victim felt was harassment. It was not for the harasser to define.

Okay. By that same standard, wouldn't torture technically be what the tortured feels it is?

I think if you ask around, you'll find that we all have a different threshold for discomfort and varying ideas of what constitutes 'torture'.

Approach a fourth grader marooned in their least favorite class for the next hour about what torture means to them. To that kid, the next sixty minutes is hell on earth. To most of us, an hour is nothing once we've been numbed by a lifetime of essentially meaningless meetings! It's all a matter of perspective. If you could talk to some service members, one in the middle of basic training (who, of course, you'd never be able to talk to in the first place except in a handful of instances if you work on base with a training school or that trainee is your child calling home) will have a far different opinion about their chosen branch at that point than someone who's been assigned as permanent party at an installation. After initial training experiences, serving(usually) isn't anywhere near as bad! If you hate your job, you dread going to work. I get up at three in the morning five days or more every week to go do a job I thoroughly enjoy...people constantly tell me they don't understand how I can keep doing it. Heck, I love it! I have a cousin who's always been a die hard Star Trek fanatic. (A Trekker, or Trekkie? Someone humor me on that, please!). He once took me along to a Trek convention. He was practically in heaven. I found it, well, 'fascinating' - or 'intriguing', depending on which iteration of the series you followed! My mother would have much preferred to lick the floor of the barn clean if she had to chose between that and going to that convention.

It really is relative. One man's junk is another man's treasure, as one man's pain is another man's pleasure! And what about Brier Rabbit, begging upon his capture, 'Oh, please, whatever you do, DON'T throw me in the BRIER PATCH!'. Of course that's exactly where he ended up. No big deal for him, as he shouted, 'HA! I was BORN and RAISED in the brier patch!', which he promptly used as cover to effect his escape.

Still, let's give some thought to other things that most people find excruciating even though they weren't supposed to be, per se. Anyone involved in a civil disturbance runs the risk of an up close and personal kind of encounter with law enforcement officers, possibly in riot gear. Has anyone reading this ever experienced Chlorobenzylidene Malononitrile before? If so, you're more likely to recognize Ben Corson and Roger Staghton's 1928 invention as CS tear gas. I'll bet you can't wait to do that again! Of course, if that riot control agent doesn't convince you that you need to be anywhere besides where you're at, you're likely to receive whatever treatment is deemed necessary to subdue you and take you into custody. Provided you resist, you're on your way to learning first hand about pain-compliance techniques, which may involve the use of a baton. That's intentionally causing you discomfort in order to persuade you to quit resisting and start cooperating. Torture? Hmmmm...Let's say you're finally arrested. You're cuffed, likely with a what resembles a nylon cable tie on steroids, and herded into a transport van or maybe just a regular patrol car. Maybe you passed in front of a television camera on your way to said vehicle. Oh, the humiliation. Do you feel tortured yet? You might when you never hear the end of it from your friends and family at home watching your arrest on the evening news! To most of us who lead normal, hectic lives, being confined and stripped of our relative freedom is THE PITS. Try it for a day or two sometime. If you're not used to it, and you weren't so overtaxed that you enjoy the reprieve, you'll be ready to bounce off of your cell walls because of the new found, intense boredom you'll have to suffer. There's a reason that jail and prison suicides are a constant problem in the corrections business and why ex-cons will often do whatever it takes to never return to prison.

And, yes, Basic Military Training was only a step better. We also had people escape regularly and suicide was a persistent problem. It was also one of the best object lessons I've ever had in life. I learned to truly appreciate freedom because for many days I had none. And because I know what that is like, I have some empathy for those who don't have any or have to suffer, whether it was by their own choices and actions, or completely beyond their control.

Tim Gordon